All I want from someone, anyone, is to know that all they want is me. I just want someone to put me first and always make sure I don't feel like I'm not wanted.
In my marriage, it was like he put work in front of me and always made me feel like I wasn't worth of his time. And then I started feeling like is it just work? Or is he turning into all the other guys and seeing someone on the side? Am I not worth the effort in just spending time together anymore? Or is there someone better out there that has caught his attention?
Then I start thinking maybe he is better off without me because I am not that great. Maybe another woman would make him happier then I ever could.
I don't know whats real or whats fake anymore in my life because anything that is good always turns bad. It's hard to accept things the way they are because you never know how they REALLY are.
Like if you love someone how do you know they really love you? How do you know they aren't hiding things from you? How do you know they don't have a secret life when they are away from you?
I want to believe that everyone is always honest and truthful but the fact is not a lot of people are now a days. I want to be able to trust people, but its hard when people keep on deceiving you. You can't even trust your own spouse because who knows he might have a secret side you don't know of. And you are to blinded by the fact that you love that person to see all the lies.
And maybe that's my problem I am so easy to trust everyone and hard headed enough not to see whats right in front of me.
I wish everyone could just tell the truth and be honest even if it hurts. I know I try to be.
No comments:
Post a Comment