I missed a couple days of writing. I've actually been out and not mopping around the house anymore. I have been having fun and doing things I haven't gotten to do since being held down.
I am starting to realize how unhappy I have been the last couple years and why.
I have realized being in a relationship with someone who wants to set limits for you but doesn't like having limits set for them is toxic. And I started seeing the little signs on the relationships I have been in. And why I was truly unhappy!
Everyone always said these guys were doing these things behind my back and even controlling my life and now I can see that! I can see all the wrong doings and bad things.
And I don't want that anymore. I want to be my own person I want to grow into myself and be me again. I wanna be that happy girl who was always laughing and giggling and goofing around and I know I still can be that and be a mother. And that is something great to me!
I can be a great mom and still be a great me also. This whole revaluation thing has done wonders for my soul. I feel lighter and free. I haven't felt that way in such a long time and it feels fabulous.
I always felt like I had to rely on someone being there but this last year it was like I was on my own anyone just with restrictions!
I am going to start living my life for me and no one else. If I want to do something crazy no one has the right to judge my actions. Its MY life and doesn't affect anyone but me. I am done listening to others tell me what I can and can't do! If I want to go out I will go out! If I want to have a drink I'll go drink. If I decide I want to be away from the manipulation then I will. I honestly don't care about anyone that doesn't act like they care about me!
I am wiping my hands clean and making a life for me and my daughter, and that's all I need to do!
The last few days, I have really started feeling like I am becoming the me I really want to be <3
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